Rob spoke to The Daily Beast in Savannah these past few days and the result is their interview below. I'm pretty sure that most of us who have been following him for years know that he loves to tell some tall tails when he's doing TV interviews.
SAVANNAH, Georgia—Robert Pattinson has been lying to you for years. No, he’s not secretly balding (though his FernGully-like mane has seen considerable deforestation) or back together with his famous ex. It’s far bigger than that.
The deception began on April 21, 2011. That morning, the actor appeared on the Today show, opposite Matt Lauer. He was promoting his film Water for Elephants, a circus drama featuring Reese Witherspoon, Christoph Waltz, and a majestic Elephas maximus named Tai. Lauer commenced the terribly early interrogation with a silly question about whether, as a child, Pattinson had ever fantasized about running away and joining the circus. “No… the first time I went to a circus, somebody died… one of the clowns died. His little car exploded. The joke car exploded on him, seriously… Everybody ran out, it was terrifying.”
Cut to Aug. 3 of this year. Pattinson is on the couch of Jimmy Kimmel Live! discussing his new film Good Time, a hyperkinetic New York odyssey awash in neon and ominous electronica that earned a six-minute standing ovation at Cannes. “There’s this one scene which we shot, where it’s basically… there’s a drug dealer who busts in to the room and I was sleeping with the dog, and basically giving the dog a handjob,” he tells Kimmel, who cocks his head back in laughter. “The director was like, ‘Just do it for real, man, don’t be a pussy!’ and then the dog’s owner was like, ‘Well, he’s a breeder, I mean, you can. You’ve just got to massage the inside of his thighs…’ But then I didn’t agree to do the real one, so we made a fake red rocket.”
Both of these stories, Pattinson tells me, are total bullshit. There was no burning clown, no simulated canine masturbation, and no fake dog penis. He is, it seems, possessed of a bizarre tendency to spin fantastical yarns on talk shows. It tickles him.
READ THE REST AFTER THE CUT
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