It's so long since we had a "What A Load of Crap" post so when I saw this popping up around the place yesterday I just HAD to post it. I mean really, it's just begging to be added to the "Load of Crap" pile.
Ok, are you sitting comfortably, right, then we'll begin.
Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are reportedly planning a commitment ceremony performed by a voodoo priestess.
The couple - who have refused to confirm they are dating since meeting on the set of the 'Twilight Saga' - allegedly want to show their commitment to each other at the unusual ceremony in December. (Kate: Aah come on now you don't really think I'm gonna believe this? Everyone knows that no voodoo ceremonies are performed through the month of December! How stupid do ye think I am? Insert sarcasm font here )
A source said: "Kristen is quite dark (Kate: Last time I looked she was blonde :-P Give me that sarcasm font again) so she wants a ceremony performed by a New Orleans voodoo priestess.
"They've both had the crazy highs and lows you get when you're intensely in love and thousands of miles apart, plus they've been coping with the immense pressure of conducting a relationship in the public eye.
"But they've now agreed they are serious and want to make a love pledge to show it." (Kate: By having a voodoo ceremony? Riiiiiiiight)
Kristen, 21, and 24-year-old Robert are keen to keep the details of the service secret and will not wear wedding rings after the service, instead opting to get each other special love tokens and matching tattoos. (Kate: Tattoos ? Are you serious? Emmmm I'm pretty sure Rob doesn't like tattoos)
The source explained to LOOK magazine: "Instead, Kristen and Robert want to buy each other tokens of devotion. (Kate: Oooh is this the same source who said Rob was pregnant by any chance? Because that source is VERY reliable!)
"They want to keep speculation to a minimum, so won't get rings, but each is going to choose a present that reminds them of just how much they love each other.
"And they're going to both get matching tattoos on their hips. They want tiny anchors to symbolise that they ground each other and keep each other calm when things get stormy." (Kate: Giggle, ok that's the best bit. Oh God, I have a pain in my stomach from laughing.)
Little tip for whoever is making up, sorry "writing" these stories. Keep it simple, forget about voodoo priestesses and tattoos because after all it's only the under 5's that believe fairy stories.
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