I had to post this because I know you're going to find it as funny as I do. I really don't know what he's doing but it's hilarious.
Thanks to Laura for sending it.
I don't know who made it so if the person who did is reading this please let us know and we'll credit you ;-)
Posts
- 
- 
- 
- 
- 
- 
159 comments:
OMG! What is he doing? Lol!
Love his funny faces, but when he smiles, he lights up the world.
LOL he's so adorkable. I simply love him & all of his dorkieness
He pulls some of the best faces
thanks Kate for posting
God knows I needed a good laugh today RL has been pretty shity today.
FILRP!!!!!!!
The fact that Rob can be funny at the same time as ridiculously, amazingly, perpetually HAWT....is reason #459 why I love love love that man.
*Sigh*
When does WFE come out? If I don't see it soon, I am going to lose my damn mind.
Forgive my sick mind, but it looks like he got up on one cheek and let something fly, if you know what I mean. TOO FUNNY!
Haha! is that an impersonation of Frank Spencer?
thx for posting :)
@acullengirl...
I second that. RL just plain SUCKS today, and I needed some Rob F*ing Pattinson joy to bring things up out of the pooper.
@Sarahbear
He always has away of bringing me out of it, I dont know how but just looking at his smile can make my day
CullenLover_DazzledbyRob
Agree
ahaha his faces=PRICELESS...HIS SMILE LIGHTS UP THE WORLD :P nothing else to say!!!
Oh thank you. Things were getting too heavy on the other thread and this lil bit of silliness, is just the ticket. Got me to thinking though...
First time I ever laid my actual eyes on him (and not having a clue as to who he was), because of his nervousness and fear, he was fidgeting and avoiding contact with the audience and couldn't form a coherant sentence and I swear to god one of my first thoughts about him was...'he acts like he belongs on the little bus' (and no offense to those who love someone who rides the little bus...my favorite cousin in the whole world did). But...
Looking at this thing, I'm thinking that maybe my first impression was correct. LOL!
Actually, I love the idea that he was letting one go...IN AN INTERVIEW!
Woudn't put it past him. **giggles**
NIK!!!
Hello, my friend!!
P.S. I agree...the first few times I saw interviews with my boyfriend, Rob, I turned to my best friend and said, "I'll bet that boy has an awful time trying to get laid." because he was so fidgety and wiggly and nervous and geekalicious.
P.S....
Changed my name. I decided to condense. It was time to purge. It's still me, though. :)
Man. I was so busy laughing at his goofass face that I didn't even notice that lovely muscle popping out on his arm.
I'm noticing it now.
Yeah. Well. That'll happen when you stare something long enough.
Gotta run now. Places to go. People to do. Popping muscles to stare at.
Ooh. That sounded positively naughty.
Yes, that muscle popping out is quite nice, isn't it? Our boy is growing up. Gone are the days of the giant hair bobble head look (though I liked that look, as well)...now he's all tanned and muscular and sexy with his WFE haircut.
*Wiping a tear* My boy's growing up.
@Nik
LMAO!!
God, I love Rob!!! He is the hottest man on the planet and totally down to earth at the same time!
FILTM!
No more SarahBear? **wipes a tear**
Seriously. I loved your name. I will try to remember to not forget.
Huh?
And what do you suppose we could do today with Rob's popping muscle?
Oh. Lemme count the many ways I could do his popping muscle.
Okay. First...
too fkn funny !!I needed this so bad today thanks guys!! xoxoxo
@Nik LMAO
Girl you crack me up
my head is so far in the gutter right now after your muscle comment I dont know if I am coming out. Good thing I just got the all clear by the OB, hubby will be happy when he gets home that my mind is in the gutter
I didn't even realize how retarded can be so sexy
DUH
It's Rob so everything is possible
@Nik...
No I am still Sarah Bear, just no redbearskie (my other nickname).
Back to the muscle...
I personally would love to see that muscle all glistening and sweaty. Wouldn't you?
Oh, and I swear if I get ONE lecture about opening the Red Room today, I am going to lose it.
LOSE IT!
Now, back to the sweaty muscle...
WHAT? It's because he's gardening, people. In the sun. Duh.
Oh yippee...
I don't have to remember to not forget to not call you SarahBear anymore. Huh?
Glistening and sweaty, huh?
Oh my yes.
Have you ever tried...honey?
They love it 'cause it takes about 10 hours to lick it all off.
that is too funny :))
thanks for posting.
OT: Is anyone still reading Emancipation Proclamation??? Just updated yesterday and i thought we were coming down the home stretch but it didn't go where i thought it was going. I am not complaining just was wondering what you were thinking.
Rob+sweaty+muscles= me dead on the floor.
In the garden my ass.
He's in the guttah.
'Cause that's where we've drug him.
Come along my darling.
Yeah. He'll think 'come along' when were done with him.
Hey. Now I know who he's doing an impression of here (and it only took me 137 views to see it).
He's doin' the 'church lady'. Can't you see it?
Oh my god. Doin' the church lady?
You really are a sick little bastard, aren't ya?
You put that church lady down my friend...or no more honey for you.
Off topic.
It's Holland and Spain!
That Gif is so funny!!
What flavor honey? Maybe that's what happened during those 15 hours Rob and Dean were missing. I'll share.
Well I am a Pacific Northwest girl, so I am going to vote for huckleberry honey.
And if he's in the gutter, can his shirt be torn off? It would really help my fantasy along. Jus' sayin'...
Oh...
Dey don care whut fawaver of honey. Dey jus wants enuff poorwed ovah dem dat it takes you all day to wick it off.
And dats all dey cares about.
(why am I talking baby talk? I don't know)
.......maybe his pants, too.
Just an idea. I mean, whatever the group likes. You do what you gotta do.
Nik....
You sound like you are from the Bayou! LMAO
Now I hear "Zippadee Do Da" in my head, as I am working on the muscle and huckleberry honey. This is all wrong.
Can we go back to the Rob as Dick Van Dyke fantasy? Remember that one? I liked that one.
Ok, ok,...lost focus....
Rob-huckleberry honey-muscle-funny face-gutter...
GO!
OW!! Diet Coke through the nose is NOT GOOD!! Thank gods I had that adorkableness to make up for it. Oh Rob...
YESsss his shirt can come off any time
and any kind of flavor of honey will do, I will lick all day long
Uh. That would be in the affirmative...
All those present in the guttah are required to leave their shirts at the door (it says so right on the back of your ticket stub)
Other acuterments will go flying up onto the curb as deemed appropriate and since there is nothing that can be deemed as appropriate in the guttah...
Give us a few and that sidewalk shall soon be strewn with...acuterments.
And here we go babe. Just give ol' Nik that gorgeous foot there. And there goes the first tennis shoe.
Sarah? You may have the honor of pulling off the first sock.
Squeeeeee!!!
THE SOCK IS OFF.
What next?
Hey wait!! He's wearing those old school sock garters! Who knew?
Ok, I'll admit, the sock garter was a little weird, but if you take a look at his holinesses face...its easy to ignore.
I am willing to ignore A LOT for Rob.
So what's next? Nik, you may want to undo the button on his trousers. I don't think I can. My hands are really shaking. It could be all of the red bull I pounded in preparation for the GUTTAH, but it also could be that its ROB F*ING PATTINSON.
Well. Okay. Fine. (**she mutters as everyone seems to have wandered off**)
I can undress him myself. In fact, over these past few months I have become quite expert at it if I do say so myself. I once had him stripped nekkid as a 10 second old baby in...6 seconds. Well. We hadn't seen each other in weeks and weeks and...well...you know how that goes.
Okay then. Come here you. Those jeans have got to go. To those on the sidewalk...
INCOMING!!!
Damn I guess the pants will have to come off I you want those old school garters off. I wont complain
Wait wait wait......
Tell the girls on the sidewalk not to run away with his clothes...
oh nevermind. I guess he wont be needing them for a while.
LMAO, he is just too precious!!!
No wait!
SarahBear has not wandered off.
No worries darlin'...I got the jeans off but...
The knickers are yours. And you have to know how much I adore you to let you have the knickers.
And it don't matter if your hands are shaking. Rob likes shaking female hands near his knickers.
He's such a guy that way.
@Nik
If I had MY way, and usually I do, I just prefer my boyfriend to walk around sans clothes all the time. Except possibly the modesty patch. I make him put that back on when I send him to the store for more huckleberry honey. Or when he's cooking something greasy. We don't want any injuries, now do we?
Nickers are off. Completely gone.
*BURP*
Sorry, got carried away. I will stop by the gastro specialist on my way out. Darn it all to heck if its happened again. How many times does one Sarah Bear have to eat his nickers before I realize that I can slow down a touch?
Silly me. Pass the pepto.
Rob is such a funny guy!I'd love seen him in a comedy.I think he'd be great!He's hilarious even when he's not trying.
Passing the pepto your way sarah, the things we must do for his holliness.
Thanks, cullengirl.
A belly ache is a sacrifice I am willing to make. Now, Nik, you may want to grab the restraints...he's thrashing a bit. Although, it could be that he's enjoying himself so much. He is smiling, after all.
You ate his knickers???
Damn. You didn't even let me lick 'em first.
See if I share the main course. Well. Okay. Seeing as there's enough to serve a family of 12.
Allrighty then. Pass that honey ovah willya?
wait you have to warm the honey first!!!!
Well o course he's smiling. He knows ol' Nik has been on a diet. And more important...he knows what happens when ol' Nik breaks her diet...
With honey.
Sorry, Nik...
I got carried away.
I will sit in the Guttah penalty box for 10 min.
You're right. Gotta warm the honey.
In between the boobs ya go. Oh wait. Gotta get rid of this bra first.
**flings bra onto sidewalk**
Oh. I'm sorry sir. Did that hit you in the eye?
I think he's smiling because Sarah Bear struggles with her diet, and word on the street is...
*whispering* He really digs over weight mothers from suburban washington state. The whole dating hottie Kstew is just a cover up.
NIK!
if we get sued (again) for flinging a bra into a dudes eye on the sidewalk, we aren't going to be able to afford the cameras and lighting equipment. And we all know that Sarah doesn't look good unless she's in soft focus!!
Be careful. And don't over heat the honey.
HOLY SHIT!!!
I just hit Dean in the eye with my bra.
Quick Sarah...
Outta the penalty box. We gotta get this half nekkid kid outta here.
Dean always spoils our fun.
RUN! Run like you've never run before!
Quick. Quick. There's a moving van.
C'mon hurry. That's it. Hoist him up. Open the door. Shove him in there. Where the hell is my bra?
Safe and soun....OH MY GOD!!!
ROSIE!!!
Wait no need to run I will sacrifice myself and keep Dean occupied for you guys to finish your job
@cullengirl...
You have sacrificed yourself for the sake of humping my dear Rob. That, my friend, is the sign of true friendship.
When you catch up with us, you get him for a full 30 minutes uninterrupted, while Nik and I rehydrate and run the cameras.
then bring him back for my turn later since I kept Dean occupied for you gals
Ok, ok, ok.....
wait wait wait...
Rosie? Am I out of the loop? Who is Rosie, and please tell me she brought more honey, because we're out. I got hungry, and he was smiling really big, and well...
You get it.
And I believe this is where Laurie comes in with her news bulletins...
Here are your facts Laurie...
Rob with one shoe off and one shoe on. No pants. No knickers. His t shirt hanging off the top of his head.
Nik...braless
Sarah...scared shitless with jar of a honey between her boobs
Rosie...happy as hell with trunk a flying at seeing her boy again
Dean...running down street blinded by a bar
Take it away Laurie.
Oh and NIk I have your bra back here in the Guttah, actually Dean has it and said that he is keeping it as a souvenier from a night he will never forget.
Pause in the story...
Rosie is the elephant in WFE that has fallen madly in love with Rob. She tweets from the set about her 'boy'.
And she has been involved in more than a few escapes involving Rob, Dean and the NB's when they came to town for ROBstock II.
LMAO
Rosie is the elephant!!
I almost pissed my pants!!
Ok, we need the moving van for sure, because we can't keep Rosie contained in a Guttah.
I guess she didn't bring more honey, then. Her being an elephant and all. So who shall we send? Cuz I can't go. I got 86'd from the grocery store last week when I ran through nekkid, screaming "Candles! I need Candles!!! Sarah only looks good in soft focus!!"
Sorry !early stages of some neurological problem , really really hope it is not.
SORRY!
For a moment, I thought we were referring to Rosie O'Donnell, in which case I thought I was going to have to bow out gracefully.
Ok, back to the story...
So now we're in the back of a moving van. Is Rob at all concerned yet? Or is he just used to our shenanigans?
RPG and I went up to the set under the guise of ANIMAL CONTROL and before you know it...him, Rosie, RPG and me were sighted running down the freeway.
Then the NB's showed up at Sam's show where they had Rosie tied up out in back and yup you guessed it, before the night was out, the NB's, Rob and Dean were once again sighted around town. Next morning Rob and Dean were found wandering around the local In N Out dazed and confused but with shit eating grins on their faces (and Dean was sporting a monkey tatoo in an undisclosed area) and the NB's nearby were chanting...'more Robkowski, more Robkowski.
And never once did Rob press a charge.
What a nice boy.
ROTFLMFA Nik & Sarah....
Oh he knows us and our shenannigans all right. That's probably why he LEAPED into the guttah when he saw us.
And started unbuckling his own pants.
ooh just got a look at said monkey tatoo on Dean while you girls are working over our dear Rob, got to say myself it is pretty hott!!!!
But I am dying I need Rob now!!!! are you done yet. I have kept him occupied for two hours now.
acullengirl...
If you wanna piece of this honeypop, you're gonna have to get yourself down to this van.
Abort Guttah! Abort Guttah!
Operation has moved to moving van.
(pssst...were down on the corner in front of the FootLocker).
Tie that bra around Dean's eyes and then run like hell.
This van is MOVING...
Ok done, Guttah aborted, I actually talked Dean into going and getting an Rosie Tatoo so we have time.
WAIT WAIT WAIT
I wasn't even around for Robstalk, and yet I woke up on a park bench wearing fishnets and an In and Out Tee shirt with a MONKEY TATOO ON MY LEFT BUTT CHEEK!
Its all coming together for me now.
P.S....
Nik...the van is MOVING because you let the monkey drive. Again.
When will you learn. Oh, my mistake. You're face is occupied. Nevermind.
Carry on, Monkey.
OK you can stop the van we have time Dean is going to be a while at the tatoo shop, I told him we will call him when we are through with Rob.
P.S. cullengirl...
You might want to hurry. He's getting cocky. (giggle) and he is making requests...
Apparently you do something with a whip, a pound of lobster, and a hula hoop?
Should I tell him that you're on your way?
Sorry guys, I've been reading FF to cool down. I'll get to the news bulletin soon as I finish the rest of the comments.
Sarah...
Calm down. You're repeating yourself. Acullengirl currently has Dean occupied and Rosie is currently molesting Rob. Which reminds me.
'Rob sweetie...with Rosie's trunk a sniffling around (and god knows what she can do with it), if you're planning on making any little Rob's someday, you might want to think about covering up your own trunk'.
Just saying.
But for the moment...I think were safe.
For the moment. But ya never know. The escapades can turn on a dime.
Just lemme catch my breath here.
Yes I am on my way and yes that is my specialty, I told Dean to go get the Tatoo because the NB's would love it if he had a Rosie tatoo so he agreed to go and do it for us, we must thank him later
Although...
Now that we have a moment or two.
Sarah...
Where's that honey?
And don't give me that look Rosie girl. He was ours first. Don't you shake that trunk at me.
I said...BACK OFF BITCH!!!
Sounds like Rosie is out of control do I even want to join, Hell what am I saying of course I want to join be there in two
You guy's are unbeleivable, I've been laughing my ass off!!! This whole thing should be a movie...of course starring Rob, I always thought he should do a good comedy movie, this would be it definitely!!!
And Nik, your comment about the "little bus", your to damn funny, I have to remember that one!!! Rob's not the only reason I come to this site, when a thread starts off like this one did, it's way more entertaining that watching TV!!!!
At least something to smile... ;o)
Ladys, can you help me please? Im turning 30 in 3 minutes from now... I've never been so afraid of my birthday before, it's kind of depressing... and unfortunately I'm alone right now. Can somebody cheer me up a bit, please?
I am opening another case of honey right now. I went into the store after it in disguise. However, they knew who I was because of my monkey tat. I'm still pissed about that.
And WOW. I can't believe what I'm witnessing...
Nik is literally wrestling with an elephant in the back of a moving van. And she's kicking ass, too. Which is hard to do while wearing pasties. Way to go, Nik.
Dont be sad, Juli...*tossing her a bottle of honey*
Just join in. But be careful. Rosie is a bit territorial, and Nik is wearing pasties and in an ass kicking mood. I think it best if you just start at his feet, and work your way up.
Oh, and do you know how to work a camera? I still can't figure out the soft focus.
Juli Just imagine what is going on in the comments right now hopefully it will cheer you up, I has me, today has been awful, and just so you know I hard a hard time turning thirty too, but it get's better trust me
@cullengirl
Could you steam the lobsters next time!? They're pinching and distracting Rob!
I need is complete focus. Good gracious thats a big smile....
P.S. Juli...
30 was hard for me, too. Now I am 34, and I think I'm actually getting cooler with age. :)
sorry I wrote hard twice guess what is on my brain, hey girls I picked up Juli on the way,hope you dont mind if she joins us, we are just around the corner. I can use the camera, but I get my turn first.
Sorry about the lobsters, hey just ran past a red lobster back tracking for some steamed ones throw the other ones out
yep you do get cooler with age, just turned 36
Did we lose Nik?
DAMMIT. She was the ringleader. And she tends to calm Rob down when things get hairy.
Where are you?
hey tell Rob it's Juli's birthday and she need something special today
Breaking News
Earlier today a run on various flavors of honey was reported at the local markets and Wal-Mart. Once again it appears that mega star Robert Pattinson may be responsible. Pattinson stumbled into the local hospital wearing only one shoe, his t-shirt was on his head similar to the mamba style from several years ago. He had strange abrasions over much of his body. His mode of transportation appears to have been Rosie the elephant from the film Water For Elephants currently in production. Rosie has formed a strong attatchment to Pattinson and follows him around. Since Pattinson doesn’t usually drive a car the elephant has been taking him around. Rosie has been frequently seen picking him up with her trunk and waving him wildly around in the air. Ordinarily this would not cause too much attraction in Hollywood but the addition of honey to the mix has made it a real mess. Sticky stuff all over the street for several blocks two women lacking essential clothing, one sans bra the other with a jar of honey between her boobs. Pattinson’s temporarily blinded security man, Dean, was seen running after the elephant bumping into street signs and pedestrians. Several NBs yelling and encouraging the mayhem. Pattinson was laughing so hard when he reached the emergency room of the hospital that he had to be given oxygen. Rosie was provided with an ample drink of lavender lemonade. Paparazzi photos and video clips have been appearing all over the Internet since noon today.
ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMG this is to good to miss =)
Thank you so much Girls! :) Yes, the funny, crazy, cool comments here on this blogg really cheer me up a bit.
So, my twenties are officially over now (if I were in the US I'd still have another 6 hours ;b )
I hope I'm not turning into a cougar now! But, pfff, Rosie's still a bunch of years older then me (42, right) and she's just about as crazy about Rob. I'll give her some peanuts to distract her!
Nik Rob is freeking out please come back and calm the man down, OK pulling out the whip and the hula hoop hopefully this will help
Juli...
You are entering the best years of your life. The middle ones. Women are at the smartest and sexiest in their 30's, 40's, 50's, 60's and beyond. Hell. Look at Betty White. She's pushing NINETY. And men are not joking when they say she is one sexy broad. She is. Don't buy into the youth culture. It exists to sell us shit; clothes, cosmetics, perfume, etc. Excuse me a moment willya?
If I don't get to work on that honey, it's gonna dry and then were gonna need a brillo pad to get it off. Oh you're right Rosie. With you here, we won't need no brillo pad.
Shut up Rob.
LMFNBArseO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am literally crying I'm laughin' so hard!!!!
*snort* *snicker*
Good lord. That trunk works better than a Hoover.
Wipe that grin off you face Rob.
Shit. I've been shown up by an elephant.
Okay. This has really gone sicko.
Thanks for calming him down, Nik..
Now his eyes are rolling back in his head where they belong. He is such a cute little kidnapping victim. Though I don't think he can be considered a victim when he took one look at me with the honey and Nik with her pasties and cullengirl with her lobsters and hula hoop and threw himself in the Guttah.
Oh shoot. Someone knocked over the camera again!
P.S. Someone tell Laurie that we're gonna post all of this on Youtube later, in case she wants to add a link on her news blurb.
NIK!!
Dont you allow yourself to be shown up by an elephant!!! Get in there and on him, and make him weep for more!!!
Wow Rosie knows how to use what she's got, but Nik is ten times better, Rob's smile proves that
What's with the honey anyway? Where did it come from and why? I thought Rob wasn't into candy? Maby we should combine the honey with a few bananas... I'm sure that'll get Rosie off of Rob in less than a second and we can finally have him all to ourselves ;)
@Nik: Really, thanks a lot, that's so sweet! I know you're right... and actually age ist just a number, nothing more. I don't even look one bit like I thought a woman would when she's 30. So it's most probably just our media culture that causes us (women) to feel bad when we turn thirty.
In Germany most women under thirty aren't even married or have children yet. Me neither. But the BIG 30 causes us to panic a bit about that... I feel a lil' bit like time is running out. D'you know what I mean?
Okay Sarah...I will.
Ain't gonna let no elephant love up my boy better than me **she mutters**
I can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch and I got hands soft as velvet. And I can purr. Can you do that? Huh elephant, can ya? Oh. Ya can? But ya ain't got ten fingers, do ya?
And that's what seperates us ole girl. I got thumbs and you don't. And with thumbs...I can grab.
HA HA
I'm back in the game!
Come here you. Let's put a real grin on that gorgeous mug.
Woman, if you don't move that trunk, I'm gonna snap it off.
Would somebody please run out and get some peanuts?
Preferably a bushel in a tub of lemonade.
W T F!? Hahaha. Weirdo.
girls have fun with Rob RL is calling me got to go be back later hopefully I will get my turn
Traffic update
A massive congestion and confusion has just be reported on the freeway due to a runaway elephant. Apparently the lavender lemonade given to Rosie, Water For Elephants, mixed with the copious amounts of honey ingested earlier in the day combined to form a sort of mead mixture. In other words, Rosie got drunk. Robert Pattinson together with two unidentified women were last seen careening down the freeway. More at 11 pm.
And she's back in the Game!!!!
Wooooo hoooooo!!
Ok, Rosie is preoccupied, but we're out of honey. So I ran to the store and got tons and tons of cooking oil. (they were staring and I panicked and grabbed what I could.) So its gon' git a lil' slippery in the back of the moving van.
P.S. Um, Laurie...when they catch up with us with the news heli's...warn me. I want to suck it in before they snap a shot. I'm having a decent hair day, and if the pics turn out right, I'm making my xmas cards out of this sh**.
And thank you so much for that update Laurie. I know I've been a butt lately with e-mail and all, but we really do need to compile all of this. What should we call it?
"POSTCARDS FROM THE FREEWAY"
"THE BODYGUARD WITH THE MONKEY TATOO"
"GONE WITH THE ELEPHANT"
"CRASH, THE SEQUEL"
"THE POSITIVELY TRUE ADVENTURES OF
THE HOTTEST FUCKHAWT ALIEN HUMAN HYBRID ON EARTH AND THE ELEPHANT AND THE NASTY BITCHES WHO LOVED HIM"
I'm kinda leaning towards "Gone With The Elephant"
DUDE.
The last one! The last one!!!!
P.S. Nik, Robs looking dehydrated, throw him a gatorade. He's gotta keep hydrated, because when cullengirl gets back, she wants a ride.
Nik,Sarah
This is one of the most hilarious things I've read in a while.Your imagination is amazing.Keep it up.
Nik
You weren't around for a few days.Or was it just the comment thing being broken?I know you have seen Eclipse,or you must have by know.I would love to hear your thoughts on it.Maybe on the next Eclipse spoiler post.Just asking here.Love your insight.Absolutely adore it on anything .kisses
Jessy...
I'm with you!
I commented on the Eclipse Spoiler post a few days ago, but have not yet heard Niks thoughts on it. And I am curiouser than curious!
P.S. Nik, I think you lost a pastie. Oh wait, Deans back, and wearing it as an eyepatch. Is that why he keeps saying "argh"?
Financial news of the day--
Higher than expected, unexplained sales of honey and cooking oil have caused the market to surge. Expect steeper prices at the grocery store and some shortages. Though it seems improbable, actor Robert Pattinson is being blamed for the shortages.
Juli.... I know it sounds cliche to you, but seize the coming decade with passion, because the 30s are the very best time in many women's lives!
You're coming into your prime. Your body and beauty have ripened into a real woman. You're experienced and know what you want, and don't want, and are at your sexual peak. You're mature enough to date older men, if they flip your switch! And still young enough to date younger men too. THe whole damn world is your oyster! Just realize it, and don't let it slip by without taking advantage of every minute!
Oh and by the way, I don't mean to imply than dating and sex are all that life is about!! But it's your birthday, and you deserve some lovin care! Which brings us back to the NBs. Joining in their shenanigans is a good place to start! Even Shakespeare said: I had rather have a fool to make me merry than experience to make me sad!
Make merry today, it's your special day...
Well said, Louisada!!
*Passes her a bottle of cooking oil*
Join in....the water, er, oil is fine!
P.S. I ran out and got a kiddie pool to hold it all in. We were slipping all over the place.
acullengirl...
If he's still alive when you get back...then he's all yours. And at his age? Yeah. He'll still be alive. And I must apologize.
Normally I get pretty high marks for 'plays well and shares with others'. But damn if that elephant didn't bring out my territorialness.
My territorialness???
Yeah. That's what I said and that's what I meant. My territor...ah hell. I don't wanna spell it again.
But I too must away. I've left him with the shit eatin' grins of all shit eatin' grins on his face. But he doesn't look the least bit tuckered out yet.
Sarah?
You're turn up to bat darlin'
And yeah. I think this Kristen stuff is all a cover up too. We know what the real score is. Hell. Were the ones keeping score.
But seriously, for just a sec. I really needed this today. I needed to just play. Thanks SarahBear so much for coming back. I mean that. With all the drama (that I let myself get sucked into), I'm not sure how much longer I would have lasted around here if you hadn't come back. Thanks sweetie.
You go easy on him now. Nah. He can take it.
Shut up Rob.
*Tear*
I agree, Nik. My patience was wearing thin. But I'm here, and I got your back, baby.
Ok, my turn, stand back.....
CANNONBALLL!!!!!!
CNN just interrupted with Breaking News.
Instead of an Amber alert, they are posting a Red Alert. Not much info available yet, but helicopters are circling a van on a California freeway.
P.S. Am I ever going to get your email addy? Or shall I give you mine? Is this too blogspot stalkerish? Let me know...
http://montgomerystudio.com/lonestar/images/circus.JPG
Ah ha.... so I see Rosie brought along the feathers, and Sarah wore her boots. We know where this is going!!
Traffic advisory
Elephant down on the freeway. The drunken Rosie finally passed out from alcohol consumption or heat exhaustion or a combination of both. Rosie’s snores are audible for several car lengths. Pattinson’s security man, Dean, was last seen rollerblading down the freeway trying to catch up with the elephant. He was somewhat hampered by a patch over one eye and kept veering off the shoulder. Cars are stopped for several miles. Avoid the area.
Nik,
When you come back. All the titles you suggested were fun but maybe Gone with the Elephant. Are we really going to put this whole thing together for Rob? Maybe he has already read it? Makes me blush.
Fun playing with you and Sarah and all this afternoon. I love it when the threads get silly like this. ;D
Juli87
If I could go back in time it would not be to my teens or twenties. It would be to my 30's and 40's and even must admit 50's.
Those were the best. My only regret is that I didn't enjoy those years more and I really did enjoy them. I would like to go back to my mid thirties when I dated a young man in his mid 20's, ah what a time!!!! Talk about prime !!!! :)
Hahaha! I don't know what he is doing but it is adorable!!! :)
ok this is wayyyyyy off topic here...
but im reading the comments that you NBs are giving Juli87 and im feeling really good about myself right now because my whole family keeps telling that i need to get married and stuff like that that im missing the train and im like WTF im barely 21 yrs old...DON'T THEY KNOW I WANT TO ENJOY MY LIFE!!!
Oh gosh...the thought of Rob reading these threads, Laurie....*blush*
However, I like to think he has a pretty good sense of humor, and that he can see how hilarious these tangents are. Because in all actuality, they are 80% funny, and only 20% naughty. I think he can see the humor. At least I hope he can.
If not....well, Deans got his work cut out for him. Now he's guarding a HAWT alien hybrid who suffers from acute paranoia!
and right now im wishing i was 30 so Juli87 embrace it sweety =)
SarahBear--you said you were in the PNW. Near Seattle? That's where I am. Must be something in the air or water around here that makes us kind of nutso. Maybe all the cloudy drizzly days? Nik, is compiling a bunch of silly posts from several different threads. The plan was to give it to Rob at some point. I think he would think them very funny too.
Ladies, you're cracking me up!!! How I love to read your stories!
But Laurie, you have to be careful lol. Your news bulletins are so well written and professional that one of these days someone is going to take them seriously. And before you know E!news and Clevver tv and Popsugar and Perez Hilton are spreading the news all over the internet lol.
Girls,
if you ever need someone to distract Dean, just yell my way. I think he is pretty sexy and I'd still be robbing the cradle! :)
Dean is definitely alot of man!
Of course I don't know Rob in person but I'm quite sure he would love your stories and news bulletins. I think this is the kind of fun he can appreciate and have a good laugh with. And show it to his friends
Laurie,
I have lived all over the PNW, but mostly lived in the Olympia/Aberdeen area below Seattle and in Astoria and Seaside, Or. Now I live on the eastern side of the state. (Blech!) My heart will always belong to the Capitol Hill area of Seattle. My fave.
SarahBear, my newest Dau in law is from the eastern part of the state. I may run into you some day yet.
Sorry ladies, got to finish the story once it gets going, 2 more parts.
Traffic advisory update--
A monstrous oil spill has caused a clean up nightmare for the DOT. Cars spun out of control, a sleeping elephant skidded off the road, and a rollerblading security man flipped over several cars and the elephant--a record even Evel Kinevel couldn't surpass. Unfortunately, at this point somebody in one of the cars tossed a match out the window and the whole stretch of freeway exploded in a ball of flame. More at 11 pm.
11 at 11
Traffic was tied up for hours following a series of incidents involving Rosie the elephant from the film Water for Elephants, actor Robert Pattinson and Pattinson’s security man, Dean. A ball of flame could be seen for miles after a passenger in one of the stalled cars accidently tossed a match out the window into the spreading pool of cooking oil that was coating the freeway. It is still unknown how the oil got on the road in the first place. Fortunately a fire department helicopter loaded with foam for a small brush fire in the hills was flying overhead and dumped their load on the freeway effectively stopping the blaze before it could do much damage. We are happy to report that following the vet examination, Rosie, is fine, although she seemed to be drunk. She may be suffering a slight hangover in the morning. Channel (insert your favorite station) News helicopter spotted two scantily clad women fleeing the scene. One woman had really nice hair the other woman was hastily covering herself. Pattinson and his security man were sitting on the side of road in various stages of disarray but otherwise unharmed. Pattinson was heard to say to Dean something like “Do think they were part of that same group of POOF! women we keep running into?” Dean said he had checked to make sure he didn’t have another tattoo. “Wonder what will happen next?” Rob mused.
Ok I am back Nik and Sarah had to drop hubby off at the airport for a last min business meeting, gah does his work not realize it is my first day back in the saddle after five weeks of no play time, oh well I have my turn with Rob coming up. Good thing he can go for long periods of time.
I am sure Rob would get a kick out of the NB'S Stories.
Oh and PS Laurie Dean did get another Tatoo a Rosie one this time, after I distracted him for Sarah and Nik to make their getaway with Rob I had to get away from Dean I needed Rob and that was my only hope, I told him that we all thought the monkey one was hot and he needed another one. Dean still has NIk's bra as evidence of the nights events
Wheeeeee!!
I told you I was having a good hair day.
Since we can't see Dean's tattoos I am assuming that the new one is also in a rather inaccessible spot. Smile Dean, we love you too.
What is he doing? And which video is that from? want to see it.
LOL! Adorkable!
SarahBear--your hair looked great on the late news but I might be a little embarrassed if I were Nik. Just saying. Sorry, Nik, but you were a little blurred, moving fast like, so I don't think anybody would recognize you. All parties were smiling. It's all good.
acullengirl--thanks for the tip about the 2nd tattoo. [Poor Dean, I hope he doesn't read this stuff.]
Laurie you are welcome anything to help with the facts of the story.
I so hope that if Dean does read it he gets a kick out of it. We mean no harm it's all in the name of fun. And since it seems most of us were having a crappy day we needed something to make us laugh.
Amen to that cullengirl...
Its HOT here today, and my central AC went out. Plus, I've got an article to write that is so boring, it makes me want to bang my head against the wall, and I got yet another rejection letter in the mail for my novel. *SIGH*
I needed a laugh. A big one. I may need another tomorrow.
beanie,
Awww shucks. Thanks. But I don't think my stories are too much different that all the made up stuff that gets into the rags. Just funnier, I hope.
Nik & SarahBear are hilarious bouncing off one another. It's the gif that started all this. It is one of the funniest ones I have seen of Rob yet.
the GIF is hilarious and I have been reading the comments and snorted my drink out my nose laughing. Sarah Bear long time no see and the stories are soo funny.
THIS IS KILLING MEEEE LMAOOOO HE LOOKS SOOOO DAMN FUNNY! :D
Ladies, that was one freaking hilarious run!!! Still snorting my pink lemonade outa my nose as I type!
P.S. Didya hear about that Dresbold handwriting analyst who looked over Rob's writing? She said he's probably a "closet kinkster" who doesn't yet know it and is open to "experimentation"----hehehe, I think that the monkey, elephant, honey, and oil should be just what Rob wants!!;P
OMG his smile lights my world!!! I love it!
OMG ladies......Welcome back Sarah-Bear, you have been missed. And Nik, you always make me laugh with your quick wit and how you phrase everything. I love reading when the two of you go off on a tangent like that. You know what they say, Laughter is good for the soul. As is looking at ROB FUCKIN PATTINSON!!!!
>>
OMG--thank you guys--i needed a laugh--love the tatt/elephant/cooking oil story--only in LA
aawwwww he is just so cute and hot his face is priceless he is killing me here
Post a Comment