Michael Deacon of The Telegraph Bitches About Robert Pattinson and WE Bitch Back

Here is what Michael Deacon of The Telegraph says:

Being rich, famous and sexy is a drag, part 4,782

Robert Pattinson says he’s become so famous that he can’t bear to go out at night. “I haven’t found one place in the world yet where I could disappear,” he tells Premiere magazine.

Robert, allow me to be of service. Try my local pub, the Windmill Tavern in Gravesend, Kent. A straw poll of the regulars reveals that they’ve never heard of you. The reason for this is that they’re over 18 years of age.

Any readers of this blog who themselves are over 18 years of age may need to be informed that Robert, aka “RPattz”, is the star of the Twilight vampire films, which are monumentally popular with pubescent girls and, as I understand it, unknown territory to absolutely everyone else.

Surely the solution to Robert’s woes could not be simpler: he just needs to try going to restaurants, bars and nightclubs that are frequented by adults rather than 12 year-olds.

Sadly, he finds that even that’s no good. “When friends ask you to meet up, you have to tell them, ‘Sorry, I can’t go to that place,’ because you know the photographers will be waiting for you,” he explains.

But how do these photographers know which restaurant, bar or club Robert will be attending? In my experience, such establishments rarely have photographers stationed outside them. If you do see a photographer outside a restaurant, bar or club, it’s because either a) the celebrity’s agent has tipped them off (which I’m sure Robert’s no-doubt-charming agent wouldn’t do), or b) it’s the sort of restaurant, bar or club that is known everywhere as a haunt for publicity-seekers.

So pack up your troubles, dear Robert, and pop down to the Windmill Tavern. We’ll buy you a drink. If we recognise you.

Gozde clears her throat:

Dear Dickon (I know...low blow...),

I am so happy I found your "article". My chronic insomnia coupled with the Robert Pattinson picture drought was making me angsty and now I can bitch freely!

Our last poll showed that %62 of our readers are over the age of 19, only %7 is under 15, if you were following Robert Pattinson AT ALL you would see the fan pictures posted are not of teenagers but of women of all ages (Here is a link).

It doesn't surprise me that your friends at the pub in Kent don't know Rob. I am assuming they are not only over 18 but also lonely men who get drunk every night and bitch about how men like Rob got it good? No? Sorry...See that's how assumptions about people go.

I accept he was snapped in a couple of pap/celeb hangouts in the past months (only a couple) but what he was talking about in that article was people recognizing him at hole in the wall pubs... I would know, I post the pictures after fans ask him for one at a random bar/restaurant.

So pack up your pompous ass and go "poor little rich actor" someone else. Someone who actually deserves it. Someone who thrives for the paparazzi action. Someone who doesn't sneak out of his hotel like a criminal to get to work. Someone who isn't mobbed by crazy bitches on the street.

I am not saying "Leave Rob alone!" à la Chris Croker since I don't think Rob has it bad. He is a famous actor and it comes with the territory. We are part of the paparazzi problem with demand and supply but your article is very condescending and is written with no knowledge on Robert Pattinson or his fandom. I would accept more from an "editor".

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You can also bitch back in our comments or let Dickon know on his blog and give him his biggest hits this month/year :)