28 Reasons...

Why Twilight the movie is better than Twilight the book.

New York Entertainment Magazine gives 28 reasons why Twilight the movie is better than the book. I think SM's book stands on its own just fine, but these reasons were simply hilarious. Check out a few below. And yes I know this is not just Rob related but laugh already his movie comes out tonight!!!

"First of all, the demands of compressing a 500-page book into a two-hour movie mean that most of the boring scenes of Edward brooding about stuff have been cut. In fact, for the entire middle third of the movie, Edward seems happy most of the time, which Robert Pattinson frankly plays a lot better than he does the dark, serious looks."



"When Bella's mom hears that her daughter has a boyfriend, she demands, "Are you being safe?" We foresee a whole new tie-in line of armor-plated Twilight condoms!"

"We guess because the movie was made by non-Mormons, there's a joke about Speedo-stuffing! And two jokes about boobs."

"For no apparent reason, the alluring young waitress who can't stop flirting with Edward in Port Angeles has been transformed into a weird hipster chick with a hilarious bouffant."

"Due to Edward's chastity, at every point in the movie where you're expecting a sex scene, the filmmakers are forced to show long sequences of Edward and Bella lying down and staring soulfully at each other. They're even shot just like sex scenes! It's impossible to explain just how funny this is onscreen."

"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb," Bella says. In the book, you just roll your eyes. In the movie theater, everyone cheers wildly."

Go HERE to see all 28 reasons...super funny!

9 comments:

Lynn said...

Dani---that was a hilarious article! Gaysian is one to add to my own urban dictionary. I will have to forward to my non-read Twilight friends.

Amy said...

Haaaaaaaaaaaahahaha!! a Twilight condom??

I think I love the NY Times even more now.

Lynn said...

Amy---do think that it would disinegrate on contact, too! Ay, dios mio, I am getting the dirtiest Rob images in my head.

Tess said...

Oh Dani- that was one of the best!

I'm trying to figure out how to post some of it on my FB. I loved it.

funny thing- my sweet man came down this morning to ask me how I was doing 2day?.. I grunted at him, and he smiled and said. "Well, now that I'm here, you should be perfect"

I had to laugh all over again when I read the "You're intoxicated by my very presence" slide!

Amy said...

Canada's Globe and Mail interview with Rob and a beautiful picture of him at the Soho Hotel in Toronto :)

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20081120.wvaughan21/BNStory/Entertainment/?page=rss&id=RTGAM.20081120.wvaughan21

Betsy said...

Thanks Dani - that was a great article!

Never noticed the waitress in the backgound of that photo - I was too busy starting at Rob to notice her bouffant hairdo!

La Stella said...

woosh!
I'm dying to see the fight scene. Gaaah!

Ellie said...

Thanks, Dani--Another great find! The review's good enough to convince non-readers to go see.

Tess, your man is so sweet to say that!
(you didn't laugh when he said it, did you? Kind of screws with the male ego :)

Lynn, thought of something similar to you. It would definitely have to be industrial strength... lol

Tess said...

Ellie~I *giggle snorted* but he didn't mind..

 
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